Lifestyle: How to: Feel and Build Self- Confidence

Posted on: September 11, 2015

Self confidence is a subject I feel comfortable speaking about even though at times throughout my life I have struggled with this. I’ve definitely had moments in my life where some may look at me as if I have an abudance of self confidence when at times I really didnt. Maybe I just looked or possessed it. so many things affected me from feeling less self confident and feeling down on myself at times, Even at the age of 30, I have my moments. I believe at some point we all struggle with this. In this post, I’d like to give you ways  in my opinion that have helped me build my self confidence and a little background on myself.

Growing up in a very traditional strict Filipino-American family wasn’t easy by no means, and being the youngest was not a breeze by no means. I know that many of my friends from Asian backgrounds and others can relate to this. Just like my siblings, we felt the pressures of always being somewhat “perfect” in a way. Not exactly perfect, but making sure we got good grades, always looked our best, well-mannered, etc…. Some viewed me as the typical shy, and submissive asian girl, which for the most part I was. I did what I was told, and was quiet, never spoke back, never really spoke my mind. In someways this can be good but its not so great in building self-confidence.

Moving away to college, was a whole new realm for me. It was my first time away from home, meeting all new people from all over. I was meeting so many different people and learning so many things. a huge difference growing up in a small suburban town.  this was good for me, stepping away from my bubble so to speak. Meeting the people I met, and what I learned and experienced at College definitely helped build my self confidence tremendously. I started to find my own voice, and I didn’t feel like I was that meek, shy girl. Now don’t get me wrong I do have my moments, of being shy or quiet. But this usually occurs when I’m meeting new people, for the first time. I’m still outgoing but have my shy moments. This is Just me taking time to know you in my own way.

Surrounding myself with positive /happy people has defineitely helped boost my self -confidence. after meeting my husband, he’s taught me so much about self love, and self respect, and not to mention, how to not take things in life so seriously and to simply enjoy it. He’s a very happy soul and I’m so lucky to have met him and have him in my life. his caribbean background of “don’t worry, be happy” life rule has definitely influenced my life in more ways than one and I couldn’t be happier. BEing surrounded by people like himself is just a constant reminder of how i count my blessings and continue to love others and remain happy in life. Only giving off good vibes all around.

 I’ve also learned to Take more time for myself. which has always been a struggle for me. I tend to put others needs before my own.. but i’ve learned that I need to be happy to0 and to embrace all my hardwork and to not let life pass me by. and i’m grateful and happier for it.

these are just some ways that have helped me in my life.  Here  are my 10 tips that have helped me gain, feel, build and boost my overall self- confidence and self- esteem.  I’m no expert but these are just things I do/done to help make me feel/ build my confidence. tricks i’ve learned over the years that have made me so much happier!

1.  But first Let me take a Selfie!

Yes, our society has become selfie obsessed, but come on you can’t say that taking a few selfie’s NEVER made you feel good…. Be silly, be glam, be you! Have fun with it, as silly has this tip may sound it truly works in building and feeling great! I know for myself, at times I may not be  feeling so great about myself, but I get up,  check out my closet and once I found a cute outfit–accessories and all I’ll take a few selfies. Call it self obsessed whatever you please, but taking a few pictures of yourself looking cute and posing will make you look and feel AWESOME! And you’ll be out of your funk in no time!! Love you and the skin your in! <3

2. Smile more!

What’s that quote or saying, ” Smile more, because you never know whose looking, and whose day you’ll brighten..” Or something along those lines, either way smiling not only will bring joy in someone elses day but to yours too. When you smile it sends messages to the your brain telling yourself  I’M HAPPY (or so I read). You’re beautiful so why not show off those pearly whites and smile more. I can’t tell you how many times my husband  tells me to smile, and smiling more works WONDERS in ones mood. And lets get real smiling more is truly good for the soul! When your smiling on the outside your smiling on the inside as well.

3. Change it up– Go and get your hair done!

If your anything like me I’m always up for a change. And getting my hair done is my way of changing things up. and I can’t tell you the wonders getting your hair done does for the soul.

Sometimes I feel like i’m not feeling my look anymore… so what do I do? I get a haircut maybe change my hair color or even a simple blow out.  and let me tell you, just the the other day. i got a trim, changed my hair color, and after a few positive comments from my husband, friends, and strangers, i instantly felt more confident. let alone, i was so happy with the results. your self confidence will be lifted, holding your head a little higher and a smile on your face. a little color change and a fresh cut never hurt, paired with a gorgeous blow out, go on girl do your thang!!!

4. Do something good for someone else

doing good onto others as they would do onto you. doing any good deed makes us all feel good. try it sometime, no matter how big or small, any kind gesture goes a long way.  Whether it be holding the door for someone or donating your clothes or food to the homeless, whatever it may be your good deed with never go unnoticed. but just the mere fact that you went out of your way to do something for someone else, will boost your self-esteem and happiness.

5. List your good qualities

i once read an article that listing your good qualities never hurt in building self esteem. when you are feeling down on yourself. Listing your good qualities only promotes positive thoughts, this couldn’t be more true. and who wouldn’t want to hear all the good that you do and all that you are as a person. one thing to remember: its never vain to appreciate and love the person you are inside and out.

6. Treat Yo’ self!

I’m a firm believer in treating yourself once in awhile. I mean don’t go overboard, but i mean you work hard on the daily so you should take the time to reward yourself every so often. Whether it be getting a manicure+pedicure, buying new clothes, a new book, whatever it may be do it! fully enjoy these moments, because you earned it and you should be proud of yourself and your hard work.

7.  List all your accomplisments and future goals

it never hurts to look back and relish in all of your accomplishments you’ve earned over the years. never lose sight of those moments, and be proud of those moments. in the same respect, list your goals for the future, it’s always good to keep your future plans in prospective so you know what you’re working towards.. remember to never let anyone dull your shine, and never lose sight of your dreams. these are just things i’ve learned even though i’ve had my struggles with this, keeping these goals and accomplishments in mind, just shows that your on the right track and are on the right path to success.. if you don’t have any, then take the time to write some, its never too late to try and try again!

8. try to lead more of a healthier balanced life

health is wealth! or at least thats what my doctor tells me or what i’ve heard. but its couldn’t be far from the truth. get up and get moving on daily. exercise, not to get skinny– but just for your overall health and mind. keeping healthy is a big attribute in building self esteem and self confidence. learn to balance life, health, and exercise, they all go hand in hand. it’s also been said that staying active releases a chemical that will leave you staying happier longer! And we all want to lead a more happier well-balanced life, don’t we ! So get moving! 🙂

9. the strength of positivity is strong

surrounding yourself with positive people is like a daily dose of sunshine all the time!! Having so much positivity in your life is so good for the soul. who wants to be sad, mad, and negative all the time, nobody got time for that!! so stay positive and surround yourself with happy people sending your only good vibes., all that happiness is uplifting and it does wonders on your soul, self esteem and definitely gives you a huge boost in your self confidence. I can’t tellyou how this has helped me, I’ve got the best support tea,m/life-long cheering squad a girl could as for, So many happy endorphines all the time 🙂


10. Continue to do the things that make you happy

if your happy with what you do in life then stick to it. never change your dreams for someone. because in the long run you won’t be happy. there is nothing more meaningful and uplifting than staying true to yourself and doing what you love the most. and its so inspiring too. this not only makes life so much better it makes each day so much happier! 🙂

Ever been down in the dumps and had low self- esteem or didn’t have so much self- confidence what do you do for a boost?



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