It’s been 2 years and 2 months since we got married, and it’s been amazing so far. As I look back at my weddng photos and watch our video, I start to remember it has if it was just yesterday.
The other day I met with my bestie and we spoke about marriage and her dating life or lack there of. She’s so eager to get married, like many of us. But sometimes some get married for all the wrong reasons, hers is a means to get her family off of her back. Feeling the pressures of not being married in her early 30’s, she vented to me how she wants to get married so her family won’t bother anymore about the subject. In my opinion, she isn’t ready, her feelings of urgency to get married are to just appease her family. While she doesn’t really know why else would she get married.
A couple weeks ago I met with another girlfriend of mine, and she told me news of a former college friend who was married and now sadly, divorced. And I have yet another girlfriend who married a man who was everything she ever wanted, or so she thought. But turns out he really isn’t the guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
Time and time again I here all these stories and it saddens me. Reason being, because marriage is such a beautiful thing, and although it can be hard at times, no marriage is EVER perfect, but I always think there is a better solution than divorce.
After hearing all these stories it led me to write this blog post. I tell all my girlfriends and friends all I ever wish for them is happiness. When they are happy I’m happy. Marriage is one of the happiest moments one can experience in their life. And I want is my girlfriends and friends to experience that, but not to rush into it.
I’ve heard so many stories of people rushing into marriage and at times it doesn’t end well.
My best friend wants the feeling of a healthy loving relationship but feels the pressures from her very traditional family who want her to be married like yesterday…. And she’s become somewhat of a serial dater meeting men left and right who are introduced to her by her family. But all the guys aren’t the right fit, theres always something that isn’t right about them. And I keep on telling her as much as I want her to be married, and to be happy. She needs to be ready too. And quite frankly I don’t think she is. She needs to really date a guy to know if she wants to spend the rest of her life with him or not. She hasn’t really dated much, and I know dating isn’t EVER easy, but we all gotta start somewhere.
Have you guys ever seen that Cheez-it’s commericial –where they test them to see if there ready for packaging or not. My brother and I laugh at that commerical all the time. And we relate it to things whether we’re ready or not. “Ready or NOT..???” Not ready. And that’s what I feel for my best friend and for many people wanting to get married whether its not the right time or even the wrong reasons.
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting, on life as a whole. Now that I’m in my 30s I’ve been looking back at my 20s, and just remembering, reminicising, and thinking about those memorable moments in my life. One of those memorable moments is when I got married. Looking back on our wedding album and watching our video, I get teary eyed and remembered how happy I was then, and how much happier I am now. It was such a beautiful day, being surrounded by all our family and friends, witnessing our union. The Best Day ever and a day my husband and I willl never forget. And thats what I want for everyone to experience the joy and happiness that comes with getting married. But when its the right time, not for your family, not for your friends, but when its the right time for you.
To be honest, I was one of those girls,…… In my early to mid 20s hearing friends, co-workers and some girlfriends get engaged and I to had the wedding itch. I’ve had boyfriends in the past who’ve proposed to me before, but was I ready …. NOPE! I was young, naive, and DEFINITELY NOWHERE near ready to get married. I barely, knew who I was in my early 20s and to get married, then, as I think back, I don’t think it would’ve been the best decision for me. I mean don’t get me wrong, some people get married early in age and in their relationships and they work. I’m just going off of my experiences and stories I’ve heard. For me at least it wouldn’t have been the right time.
But I will say now, being married for 2 years and 2 months, it isn’t much time as a married couple, but I will say I’m happy, I waited. And marriage so far as been Amazing! Some may have thought it wasn’t the right time for me because they thought I was still young, and for the face that I’m the youngest in my family. But other’s aren’t in your shoes, and they won’t know when is the right time, you and you alone will know when its right.
I just feel like some always think there isn’t enough time, and once we’ve hit our 30s, some may say we are old and over the hill—and if were not married yet , that marriage may never come….. And that can be a daunting thought… But, this is definitely not the case. It may scare some of us if we aren’t married by a certain age, but if we aren’t ready or if we rush into it, and the timing isn’t right–who knows what your life may be later down the road. It’s better to be sure than to be unsure especially when it comes to something as big and commiting as marriage. Enjoy your life, surround yourself around positive minded people, never rush into anything, and you alone will know when it’s right. Not just for marriage but in anything.
NEVER rush into any decision if you aren’t ready.
Get to know your partner for who they are, what they’re all about, know them inside and out.
Make sure you feel secure within the relationship as well as being secure within yourself.
Do you love that person enough to spend the rest of your life with them?
Don’t marry someone for materialic value or for any financial benefit. Money can buy you things but it can’t buy you love or happiness. #TRUTH
Do you feel safe and secure with this person?
If you can and if you want to, try living with one another while dating and see where your relationship goes from there.
Remember healthy communication
Don’t marry someone to make your family happy, marry someone who not only loves you but loves your family as well. Remember your family is an extension and part of you.
You’re the one marry the person, not your family
Enjoy one another always
Laugh with eachother
This phrase can be taken in two ways but especially in big traditionally familys, you marry your partner but you marry their family too. ( To a certain extend/degree , I agree)
Remember to love one another and never take eachother for granted
Never let work get in the way of your relationship
Remember healthy communication
Remember your values, morals, and your vows towards one another
Never go to bed angry at one another
Before thinking of divorce see if you’ve gone down every avenue to make your marriage work
Seeking marital advice from a counselor, friend, or family member is never bad. It’s nice to have perspective from someone outside the marriage. So they can give you insight on areas that can be improved.
Enjoy one another always
Laugh with eachother
Make decisions together, think them through together
Support one another
Always remember to cherish and love one another
Remember to continue to have date nights
ENJOY SOME PHOTOS FROM OUR WEDDING
What are your thoughts on marriage?
What are your thoughts on dating?
What makes you happy?
What are your experiences?
I’d love to hear from you, comment below or write me a line!