Everyone of us have experienced some dryspells, bumps and hurdles. In every relationship and marriage, life happens and reality at time hits us hard. At one point in our lives, we tend to lose touch with our significant others, partners and life long soulmates. Sometimes, we start to lose faith, become afraid or unaware of what the outcome may be, or what to come for our relationship. And as much as we don’t want to admit it sometimes that initial “spark” can lose it’s flame.
But there are ways to get back on track to where it all started, and re-ignite that spark………
Everyday I continue to count my blessings, and I thank god for all the blessings he’s given both my husband and myself. Thankfully, we continue to remain heavy in love and believe in our love, bond, and our vows we pledged to one another. But every now and then we may get into a big disagreement or argument. And we just can’t seem to stand the sight of one another. This is natural and part of that bond. It happens to the best of us. But no what how big the fight is, we know that we are in this together and till we are old and gray. We know that no matter what, we love one another and we couldnt’ imagine life without the other person in it.
But in any relationship, disagreements and arguements will and can happen and sometimes you are at each other’s throats and can’t seem to get on the same page. Some times the best solution is space, and taking time to regroup, think through your thoughts before speaking outright and saying something you will regret in the long run. And I know as much as you hate yourself after the fact, we all have been in the heat of the moment and have said the most hurtful things to our partners and really in the end don’t mean it. We’re all victims of this…..
The point of this post is to share my beliefs and thoughts on marriage through my experiences in my own marriage. What my husband and I do to keep the flame and love makin’ alive and kickin’. As well as exploring ways in keeping a healthy, strong and loving marriage. Including ideas and activities to do with your spouse or partner to maintain a strong and thriving relationship/marriage. I also introduce something that I saw that has become a big thing that many people are trying out and seeing big improvement in their relationships and marriages.
For my husband and myself, we make it a point to always set aside time for ourselves. We believe in balance. As hard as it can be, we try and balance our time wisely, among each other, family, work life, as well as with our friends. It can be tough but we try our very best. We also try and go out every friday for a date night. During that time, we find it’s important to engage with one another, setting aside our phones, and ignoring everything else but ourselves and the moment. It’s important to take that time, to step away from work, your phones, and other distractions and really enjoy the moment and night together.
Although we don’t have children at this point in our lives. It’s something we want but it’s in our future plans, just not at this point in time. But with work, and our crazy busy schedules, during the week having that “quality time” always is something we and i’m sure everyone in a marriage or relationship wants, but sometimes work and other engagements can get in the way of that time. So I can’t stress to you enough, having that time is VERY important. Whatever you may do, it helps in keeping that connection and bond alive and kickin’.
I’m a huge fan of Youtube, and have partnered up with them as well. And one day after watching our friends and one of our favorite Youtube Vloggers Benji and Judy from ItsJudysLife, they spoke about it being “Friday FDAY.” Just like the rest of the world we wondered, ” What the hell are they talking about?” Some of us I’m sure t questioned and said, ” Hmmm, is Friday FDAY mean, today they are gonna have sex or F*** ( I hate using that term, but i’m sure we were all thinking it) ?” You know we were all thinking it. Now for those of you who don’t know them, they are a married couple and a family of 5. They are blessed with 3 beautiful girls, Julianna (their oldest 3 yrs. old) and the twins Miya and Keira (2 yrs. old).
While Judy was getting ready in her beauty room, she started to speak about marriage, and how 50% of marriages end in divorce. And America is the #1 country with the highest percentage rate where marriages end in divorce. She also mentioned that as of late her and Benji have been fighting non-stop and just at each others throats. With work, the girls, and everyday life, all these factors have played a part in why they’ve had some of their disagreements. This happens to all of us they aren’t the only couple, we all have experienced this in our relationships and marriages. And sadly sometimes, many have ended their marriage because they couldn’t get on the same page anymore and they just fell out of love. But not every marriage is bound for divorce and Mark and I like Benji and Judy and others say NO to divorce.
Like Judy and Benji explain and how they look forward to their Friday FDAY, Judy calls it a movement and it needs to happend for every couple out there. We, (Mark and I), believe anything and everything has a solution and it’s fixable. We know what’s important and continue to always remember all the reasons why we got married and why we are together. In the end, we realize that no fight is ever that important and we will continue to work at our marriage and our relationship. Because it’s that important to us, and although we love eachother so much, someitmes love isn’t enough. Which is why we travel and go on trips, engage in activities that reinforce the love we share, and all the things we believe in for us and our marriage. Just like Judy and Benji, they too have the same beliefs and even though they’ve been fighting recently, they planned a weekend getway/ date night away from the girls, (as much as they hate leaving them behind), to enjoy one another, destress, relax, and have fun with one another.
Heres’ the link to the FDay reference in Judy and Benji’s Vlog on ItsJudysLife: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpmVh6KTzLM
Now cue the meaning behind Friday FDay……. Interpretation is up to you, the “F” in FDay can mean whatever you and your partner/spouse choose it to be.
Dates that end in bed with your spouse can lead to stronger, healthier, more committed marriages. Take the Fday Challenge at fridayfday.com and see why.
Your marriage counts and is worth investing in! Do so, by taking the Fday Challenge at Fridayfday.com. All that’s required of you is that you go on dates with your spouse that end in bed. Yeah, we know, you’re welcome. Oh yeah, a date doesn’t have to be extravagant. Could just be a walk around the block or it could entail a weekend trip to the City. No matter. Just spend at least an uninterrupted hour with your spouse each week and you’ll feel the transformation!
FDay is a movement for married couples, dating couples etc…. to come together and reconnect and rekindle their relationship. And enjoy the time together with no distractions.
Whether you have kids or no kids, whether your married or in a relationship, it’s important to take the time for eachother, have fun with one another, and enjoy life together. And makin’ love to one another is such a beautiful thing, a time to be shared with the one person that truly matters. It’s the build up of emotions and feelings that’s so strong, so intense and magnified. That in the end you realize your bond and love is so much more important than any fight or disagreement That closeness, with eachother is a feeling that’s irreplaceable. Nothing beats that feeling in my book….
So, no matter what you do: a date night, weekend getaways, taking a walk, whatever it may be do it together without any distractions. And focus on one another and continue to connect with one another. Take that time to rekindle your love and reconnect with one another. In my opinion, no matter what you call it, it’s important to reinforce the love you have for one another, continue to light that spark, and never let the romance die, no matter what life throws at you. Life can be difficult at times, but taking the time to reinforce the love and care you both have for one another and the foundation you two built together is something we all need to do and it’s important to know this and to do this.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with things, I just thought to share with you what my husband and I do to rekindle our love, everyday. We LOVE to travel, and the best part about seeing the world is seeing it and experiencing with my best friend, soulmate and life-long partner. We are big foodies too, so we go out for a date night every Friday which we started when we were dating and continue to do so in our marriage today. We enjoy trying out new trendy restaurants near us and date night is great for doing that while reconnecting with eachother after a long busy week. We believe in living a healthy lifestyle, so we like to work out with one another and enjoy going on walks together over the weekends when the weather is nice. Whatever it may be, these are just some ideas/ activities you and your special someone can do together to keep the romance alive and kickin’. And remember no relationship or marriage is EVER PERFECT we ALL hit a few bumps in the road but we ALWAYS meet back in the middle together still so in love like the when we were dating but even better.
My advice to you all is that divorce should never be an option. It should never be a word that you speak of in your marriage. Try and work it out through communication, learning to hear one another out whole-heartedly. Learn to compromise, learn to see the situation from the others perspective (step into their shoes). Try to grow together never one higher than the other, this is a partnership not a dictatorship. And if working it out together doesn’t work, seek help and speak to a professional to help work through some those problems and issues you are experiencing.
Trust and believe talking everything out makes it all better. Hear one another, respect one another and love one another. Life and love is never easy, especially when other factors are added to the mix, but if the love is there and it’s worth it to you both, than your love and relationship is ALWAYSworth fighting for, remember that. I have a girlfriend that is dealing with stuff and going through a difficult time with her spouse, and divorce is still a lingering option for her, and she feels strongly about it. Every situation is different, but in my opinion I feel like adding to the situation, like a baby or jumping into marriage when you already have lingering issues or problems won’t ever truly fully solve the problem(s) completely. Before adding a baby or jumping into any situation, think it out, talk it out and lay everything out on the table. Healthy communication is sometime we all need to practice in all our relationships, its vital and important. But I continue to always encourage anyone to communicate with their spouses or partner, and try to fix it. Because they didnt’ just get married by chance, it was a choice and deep down inside the love is there. They just need to break down those “factors” and lingering issues that are causing reoccuring disagreements.
Relationships are all about learning and growing with one another. Sharing your feelings and expressing your thoughts only makes you as an individual and as a unit better. You can only grow and get better by learning from one another. Try it and you two will see what I’m talking about. It’s never gonna be easy, but just know that everything you and your partner are doing to better your union and your relationship is always gonna be better in the long run. Try out Friday FDAY or whatever you choose and see if you see any improvements! Again, I wish you all the best and more in your union and relationships, wishing you all a lifetime filled with lots of love, laughter, happiness, blessing and so much more.
What do you and your partner do when you have a disagreement or fight?
Do you and your spouse, partner, or significant other go on date nights or getways?
What do you do to rekindle your love?
I wanna hear from you, comment below and write to me.
For more on the Wedding Wednesday Series, Stay Tuned!