Date Night

Posted on: July 12, 2017

This post is long overdue, I’ve been wanting to share this with you all for quite sometime now. It’s something that is so obvious and simple but it’s so important in any relationship- date night! No matter if you just started a new relationship, have been together for many years, married, married with kids, date night is an essential part in any romantic relationship. In any relationship, whether it’s with family or friends, you have to nurture it, cherish it and this will help the relationship grow. Time is a very important thing, especially quality time, listening, talking and enjoying life — all it has to offer together. Let’s face it, I know we can all admit that at times, it’s easy for us to get caught up in our daily lives, and dates become few and far between-something you too often say, it’ll happen when you have time, or money. Life can be challenging and demanding at times especially if you and your partner have jobs that require more time than the norm or if you’re full time parents. Now I’m not saying your dates have to be over the top or super extravagant  (although a little thought to the evenings or even daytime outing would be nice) but it’s something that should be incorporated into your relationship

My husband and I started having date night back when we started dating almost 9 years ago. It’s something we started that helped strengthened the bond between us. But I have to be honest, due to our demanding schedules it’s been hard lately to keep up the tradition. Although, Friday’s are designated for Date night, it hasn’t been as frequent as we would like. But I’m hoping we can continue doing date night again very soon! At this point, one of us need to just drop everything and say, let’s go out and enjoying the day or evening and our time. Sometimes, maybe a little spur of the moment and impromptu outing might be something you and your partner need to break the ice.

 A Here are reason’s why date night is important:

Date nights are what keep a relationship strong and lasting. Why? During that time, you both can reconnect, engage with one another without being distracted by a phone call, a work email, or even social media. It breaks up the monotony— we can all love our jobs, lifestyles, family and friends but it’s humanly possible to get stuck in a rut. It’s normal, but that’s why date nights are essential. Making time for you and your partner can spice things up in more ways than you think. Sometimes we can get caught up with our crazy daily lives that we forget our partners are there as a support system, to helps through our struggles and see the bigger picture. Carving out time for date night is the perfect solution and way to communicate on another level, instead of talking about the usual day to day. Trust me, your not alone we all fall victim to this from time to time. But it’s up to us to make more of an effort and set aside the time to rekindle, reconnect, relax and enjoy the time together. Cherish it, because this will continue to strengthen the bond you two share.

Get to know your partner on a deeper level–  I know what your thinking,  ” I thought I knew everything there is to know about you…”  Whether you’ve been married for 25 years or have been in a long term relationship with your partner you may think there isn’t much more you need to know or learn about one another. I’ll tell you this, my husband and I have been married for almost 4 years now and dating for almost 9 years and we’ve changed a bit over the years. Not in a bad way, but we’ve grown a lot since we first met and dated, especially in our marriage. No matter what relationship your in and no matter for how long, remember this, a relationship is a partnership. In a partnership, we have to remember we always want to do better and be better. We all want to grow and evolve what’s better than growing not just as individuals but in your marriage/relationship as well. Life always has some kind of lesson for us to learn, the same rules apply in a marriage. So whether you both curl up together by the fire at home or even over a dinner made together at home or out take the time to connect and communicate on a deeper level. It will not only make you grow as individuals but as a couple too. Try it, and see the strength of your bond grow closer.

An added plus, another reason to get all dressed up!!

Also studies have shown that couples who had a new baby but had a weekly date night were half as likely for their marriage quality to decline. Couples who had ‘couples time’ weekly, were more likely to have higher quality relationships and lower divorce rates than those who didn’t. They found that weekly date nights increase communication about important things and remove everyday distractions. Date nights increase novelty so that couples don’t take one another for granted and you both have a chance to do fun, stimulating activities. Having a date night helps spouses to reclaim both their individual identity and their identity as a couple.  Much of the time they are too busy being a daughter, son, boss, worker, mom, dad and friend to remember to focus on who they want to be as people and as a couple.

If you’re constantly on the go with your demanding schedule and job you and your partner are well over due for a date night. For most of us who are in the hustle and bustle,  on the daily grind and going 110% if not more always, then date night is the perfect way to force you to relax and unwind.  What better way then to do it with someone you love and feel 100% comfortable with. When you aren’t distracted the stresses of your job and what have you, having that time away can put you in a refreshed and calm state. So whatever was stressing you before won’t be so hard to tackle, because you took time to hit the refresh, reset  and regroup button and you talked about it together. You both came together to make the time for some good old quality time and R&R with one another. Something we all need from time to time. Try it and see how you handle what life is handing to you with a renewed sense of calmness and mindset. We all need this time, so cherish it, be mindful of it, and use it wisely.

Lastly, you remember your Why… This is so very true for all relationships.  You think, why did we begin this crazy ride through the journey of life together! What brought us here? There’s nothing more refreshing or comforting than to have those moments thinking  “We’re in this together.” To remind you and your partner why you both are working so hard to keep this relationship together, continue to be a solid team, why it’s so important to you both and why you want to continue this together. This couldn’t be more true, especially if your going through a tough time or working through something- moments like these will only provide a sense of clarity and put you at ease. Something you can’t and won’t be able to get if you’re going through it alone or just going through the motions. Now I’m not saying that the other moments you and your partner share aren’t significant.  But, what I am saying is that taking the time and making the effort will not only strengthen your relationship, it will help you both grow even closer as a stronger unified couple not only in life but in marriage. After all, as the saying goes– for better or for worse, in sickness and in health and for as long as you both shall live. 

Life will always have some kind of lesson or test that will challenge you and your partner. It is those test that will strengthen you not only as individuals but as a couple in the long run.

 

These are just my own thoughts and what has worked for my husband and I over the years. What I can tell you is that we all fall victim to neglecting time and not making enough of an effort. We all can get bogged down and distracted by the day to day. But I’m just pointing out ways to reinforce that bond and ways to strengthen it as a whole. Trust and believe you are all never alone, everyone goes through it. But it’s up to you and your partner to make the conscious effort to try. Remember, relationships are always about compromise it’s never a one way street, it takes two for anything to happen. I hope this post helped you in some way shape or form.  and I hope you’ve gained some reassurance in your relationships and I hope you all will make efforts to building a strong, loving and lasting relationships with your partner. Try it out and see what happens.

 

I hope you all found this helpful and useful. I’d love to hear from you , please do share your thoughts below or even write to me. I love hearing your thoughts about this topic or any other topic, we can all help each other out. Let me know what other topics you ‘d like me to write about and share with you. I’m always happy to share my experiences and knowledge with you.

As always, thank you for reading, following along and supporting my journey!


WEDDING WEDNESDAY SERIES: FRIDAY FDAY (WHAT DOES THAT MEAN) Say NO to DIVORCE Say YES to LOVE and a LASTING MARRIAGE

Posted on: March 16, 2016

Everyone of us have experienced some dryspells, bumps and hurdles. In every relationship and marriage,  life  happens and reality at time hits us hard.  At one point in our lives,  we tend to lose touch with our significant others, partners and life long soulmates. Sometimes, we start to lose faith, become afraid or unaware of what the outcome may be, or what to come for our relationship. And as much as we don’t want to admit it sometimes that initial “spark” can lose it’s flame.

But there are ways to get back on track to where it all started, and re-ignite that spark………

Everyday I continue to count my blessings, and I thank god for all the blessings he’s given both my husband and myself. Thankfully, we continue to remain heavy in love and believe in our love, bond, and our vows we pledged to one another. But every now and then we may get into a big  disagreement or argument. And we just can’t seem to stand the sight of one another. This is natural and part of that bond. It happens to the best of us.  But no what how big the fight is, we know that we are in this together and till we are old and gray.  We know that no matter what, we love one another and we couldnt’ imagine life without the other person in it.

But in any relationship, disagreements and arguements  will and can happen and sometimes you are at each other’s throats and can’t seem to get on the same page. Some times the best solution is space, and taking time to regroup,  think through your thoughts before speaking outright and saying something you will regret in the long run. And I know as much as you hate yourself after the fact, we all have been in the heat of the moment and have said the most hurtful things to our partners and really in the end don’t mean it. We’re all victims of this…..

The point of this post is to share my beliefs and thoughts on marriage through my experiences in my own marriage.  What my husband and I do to keep the flame and love makin’ alive and kickin’. As well as exploring ways in keeping a healthy, strong and loving marriage. Including ideas and activities to do with your spouse or partner to maintain a strong and thriving relationship/marriage.  I also introduce something that I saw  that has become a big thing that many people are trying out and seeing big improvement in their relationships and marriages.

For my husband and myself, we make it a point to always set aside time for ourselves. We believe in balance. As hard as it can be, we try and balance our time wisely, among each other, family, work life, as well as with our friends. It can be tough but we try our very best. We also try and go out every friday for a date night. During that time, we find it’s important to engage with one another, setting aside our phones, and ignoring everything else but ourselves and the moment. It’s important to take that time, to step away from work, your phones, and other distractions and really enjoy the moment and night together.

Although we don’t have children at this point in our lives. It’s something we want but it’s in our future plans, just not at this point in time. But with work, and our crazy busy schedules, during the week  having that “quality time” always is something we and i’m sure everyone in a marriage or relationship wants, but sometimes work and other engagements can get in the way of that time.  So I can’t stress to you enough, having that time is VERY important. Whatever you may do, it helps in keeping that connection and bond alive and kickin’.

I’m a huge fan of Youtube, and have partnered up with them as well. And one day after watching our friends and one of our favorite Youtube Vloggers Benji and Judy from ItsJudysLife, they spoke about it being “Friday FDAY.” Just like the rest of the world we wondered, ” What the hell are they talking about?” Some of us I’m sure t questioned and said, ” Hmmm, is Friday FDAY mean, today they are gonna have sex or F*** ( I hate using that term, but i’m sure we were all thinking it) ?” You know we were all thinking it. Now for those of you who don’t know them, they are a married couple and a family of 5. They are blessed with 3 beautiful girls, Julianna (their oldest 3 yrs. old) and the twins Miya and Keira (2 yrs. old).

While Judy was getting ready in her beauty room, she started to speak about marriage, and how 50% of marriages end in divorce. And America is the #1 country with the highest percentage rate where marriages end in divorce. She also mentioned that as of late her and Benji have been fighting non-stop and just at each others throats. With work, the girls, and everyday life, all these  factors have played a part in why they’ve had some of their disagreements. This happens to all of us they aren’t the only couple, we all have experienced this in our relationships and marriages. And sadly sometimes, many have ended their marriage because they couldn’t get on the same page anymore and they just fell out of love. But not every marriage is bound for divorce and Mark and I like Benji and Judy and others say NO to divorce.

Like Judy and Benji explain and how they look forward to their Friday FDAY, Judy calls it a movement and it needs to happend for every couple out there.  We, (Mark and I), believe anything and everything has a solution and it’s fixable. We know what’s important and continue to always  remember all the reasons why we got married and why we are together. In the end, we realize that no fight is ever that important and we will continue to work at our marriage and our relationship. Because it’s that important to us, and although we love eachother so much, someitmes love isn’t enough. Which is why we travel and go on trips, engage in activities that reinforce the love we share, and all the things we believe in for us and our marriage.  Just like Judy and Benji, they too have the same beliefs and even though they’ve been fighting recently, they planned a weekend getway/ date night away from the girls, (as much as they hate leaving them behind), to enjoy one another, destress, relax, and have fun with one another.

Heres’ the link to the FDay reference in Judy and Benji’s Vlog on ItsJudysLife: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpmVh6KTzLM

Now cue the meaning behind Friday FDay……. Interpretation is up to you, the “F” in FDay can mean whatever you and your partner/spouse choose it to be.

FRIDAY FDAY:

  • Dates that end in bed with your spouse can lead to stronger, healthier, more committed marriages. Take the Fday Challenge at fridayfday.com and see why.

  • Your marriage counts and is worth investing in! Do so, by taking the Fday Challenge at Fridayfday.com. All that’s required of you is that you go on dates with your spouse that end in bed. Yeah, we know, you’re welcome. Oh yeah, a date doesn’t have to be extravagant. Could just be a walk around the block or it could entail a weekend trip to the City. No matter. Just spend at least an uninterrupted hour with your spouse each week and you’ll feel the transformation!

  • FDay is a movement for married couples, dating couples etc…. to come together and reconnect and rekindle their relationship. And enjoy the time together with no distractions.

Whether you have kids or no kids, whether your married or in a relationship, it’s important to take the time for eachother, have fun with one another, and enjoy life together. And makin’ love to one another is such a beautiful thing, a time to be shared with the one person that truly matters. It’s the build up of emotions and feelings that’s so strong, so intense and magnified. That in the end you realize your bond and love is so much more important than any  fight or disagreement That closeness, with eachother is a feeling that’s irreplaceable. Nothing beats that feeling in my book….

 So, no matter what you do: a date night, weekend getaways, taking a walk, whatever it may be do it together without any distractions. And focus on one another and continue to connect with one another. Take that time to rekindle your love and reconnect with one another. In my opinion, no matter what you call it, it’s important to reinforce the love you have for one another, continue to light that spark, and never let the romance die, no matter what life throws at you. Life can be difficult at times, but taking the time to reinforce the love and care you both have for one another and the foundation you two built together is something we all need to do and it’s important to know this and to do this.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with things, I just thought to share with you what my husband and I do to rekindle our love, everyday. We LOVE to travel, and the best part about seeing the world is seeing it and experiencing with my best friend, soulmate and life-long partner. We are big foodies too, so we go out for a date night every Friday which we started when we were dating and continue to do so in our marriage today. We enjoy trying out new trendy restaurants near us and date night is great for doing that while reconnecting with eachother after a long busy week. We believe in living a healthy lifestyle, so we like to work out with one another and enjoy going on walks together over the weekends when the weather is nice. Whatever it may be, these are just some ideas/ activities you and your special someone can do together to keep the romance alive and kickin’. And remember no relationship or marriage is EVER PERFECT we ALL hit a few bumps in the road but we ALWAYS meet back in the middle together still so in love like the when we were dating but even better.

My advice to you all is that divorce should never be an option. It should never be a word that you speak of in your marriage. Try and work it out through communication, learning to hear one another out whole-heartedly. Learn to compromise, learn to see the situation from the others perspective (step into their shoes). Try to grow together never one higher than the other, this is a partnership not a dictatorship. And if working it out together doesn’t work, seek help and speak to a professional to help work through some those problems and issues you are experiencing.

Trust and believe talking everything out makes it all better. Hear one another, respect one another and love one another. Life and love is never easy, especially when other factors are added to the mix, but if the love is there and it’s worth it to you both, than your love and relationship is ALWAYSworth fighting for, remember that. I have a girlfriend that is dealing with stuff and going through a difficult time with her spouse, and divorce is still a lingering option for her, and she feels strongly about it. Every situation is different, but in my opinion I feel like adding to the situation, like a baby or jumping into marriage when you already have lingering issues or problems won’t ever truly fully solve the problem(s) completely. Before adding a baby or jumping into any situation, think it out, talk it out and lay everything out on the table. Healthy communication is sometime we all need to practice in all our relationships, its vital and important. But I continue to always encourage anyone to communicate with their spouses or partner, and try to fix it. Because they didnt’ just get married by chance, it was a choice and deep down inside the love is there. They just need to break down those “factors” and lingering issues that are causing reoccuring disagreements.

Relationships are all about learning and growing with one another. Sharing your feelings and expressing your thoughts only makes you as an individual and as a unit better. You can only grow and get better by learning from one another. Try it and you two will see what I’m talking about. It’s never gonna be easy, but just know that everything you and your partner are doing to better your union and your relationship is always gonna be better in the long run. Try out Friday FDAY or whatever you choose and see if you see any improvements! Again, I wish you all the best and more in your union and relationships, wishing you all a lifetime filled with lots of love, laughter, happiness, blessing and so much more.

What do you and your partner do when you have a disagreement or fight?

Do you and your spouse, partner, or significant other go on date nights or getways?

What do you do to rekindle your love?

I wanna hear from you, comment below and write to me.

For more on the Wedding Wednesday Series, Stay Tuned!

XO,

SOCIALFASHIONISTABEAUTY

e83807_bb916a09ea5a4880a3c01be4b92d7010

e83807_5594e52372dc47b59c19f161300b61ed

e83807_0e628d6365e8469c9a84c74196442b80

e83807_84ce6f8e59dc41098caf44276561b188

e83807_34fbfc8cd07d4daab8b0bcbdd9ec43aa

e83807_913eb2ad91a64e4bbb0f32647533a9f9

e83807_c297775e38574572ba47af2156405615

e83807_07c8472e84cf4fa29ff2b5c994cadb45

e83807_247578bc935e4ecb9614c26d0608fede

e83807_6da24c59619544e296a92d0d721b1954

e83807_e48adc3ecdc5433eaa3a887ecda31145

e83807_e5976c5830e44b809355105c4bca1c58

e83807_0bc7bfe1620f43ae97e912c2728e49a7

e83807_940444bc80a2494fa93744c23d67b688-1

e83807_a8db0a5b6fee4a78b1beb7c74d7d65c5

e83807_97badf2219464381b86dca148d9fe266

e83807_6da24c59619544e296a92d0d721b1954

e83807_0b6bf44b48d343bda7b3b1530487c84a

e83807_266153a4686849fba74ef1ca0370ad59

e83807_909121db0eb843ecae876b7b116e0bf3