Date Night

Posted on: July 12, 2017

This post is long overdue, I’ve been wanting to share this with you all for quite sometime now. It’s something that is so obvious and simple but it’s so important in any relationship- date night! No matter if you just started a new relationship, have been together for many years, married, married with kids, date night is an essential part in any romantic relationship. In any relationship, whether it’s with family or friends, you have to nurture it, cherish it and this will help the relationship grow. Time is a very important thing, especially quality time, listening, talking and enjoying life — all it has to offer together. Let’s face it, I know we can all admit that at times, it’s easy for us to get caught up in our daily lives, and dates become few and far between-something you too often say, it’ll happen when you have time, or money. Life can be challenging and demanding at times especially if you and your partner have jobs that require more time than the norm or if you’re full time parents. Now I’m not saying your dates have to be over the top or super extravagant  (although a little thought to the evenings or even daytime outing would be nice) but it’s something that should be incorporated into your relationship

My husband and I started having date night back when we started dating almost 9 years ago. It’s something we started that helped strengthened the bond between us. But I have to be honest, due to our demanding schedules it’s been hard lately to keep up the tradition. Although, Friday’s are designated for Date night, it hasn’t been as frequent as we would like. But I’m hoping we can continue doing date night again very soon! At this point, one of us need to just drop everything and say, let’s go out and enjoying the day or evening and our time. Sometimes, maybe a little spur of the moment and impromptu outing might be something you and your partner need to break the ice.

 A Here are reason’s why date night is important:

Date nights are what keep a relationship strong and lasting. Why? During that time, you both can reconnect, engage with one another without being distracted by a phone call, a work email, or even social media. It breaks up the monotony— we can all love our jobs, lifestyles, family and friends but it’s humanly possible to get stuck in a rut. It’s normal, but that’s why date nights are essential. Making time for you and your partner can spice things up in more ways than you think. Sometimes we can get caught up with our crazy daily lives that we forget our partners are there as a support system, to helps through our struggles and see the bigger picture. Carving out time for date night is the perfect solution and way to communicate on another level, instead of talking about the usual day to day. Trust me, your not alone we all fall victim to this from time to time. But it’s up to us to make more of an effort and set aside the time to rekindle, reconnect, relax and enjoy the time together. Cherish it, because this will continue to strengthen the bond you two share.

Get to know your partner on a deeper level–  I know what your thinking,  ” I thought I knew everything there is to know about you…”  Whether you’ve been married for 25 years or have been in a long term relationship with your partner you may think there isn’t much more you need to know or learn about one another. I’ll tell you this, my husband and I have been married for almost 4 years now and dating for almost 9 years and we’ve changed a bit over the years. Not in a bad way, but we’ve grown a lot since we first met and dated, especially in our marriage. No matter what relationship your in and no matter for how long, remember this, a relationship is a partnership. In a partnership, we have to remember we always want to do better and be better. We all want to grow and evolve what’s better than growing not just as individuals but in your marriage/relationship as well. Life always has some kind of lesson for us to learn, the same rules apply in a marriage. So whether you both curl up together by the fire at home or even over a dinner made together at home or out take the time to connect and communicate on a deeper level. It will not only make you grow as individuals but as a couple too. Try it, and see the strength of your bond grow closer.

An added plus, another reason to get all dressed up!!

Also studies have shown that couples who had a new baby but had a weekly date night were half as likely for their marriage quality to decline. Couples who had ‘couples time’ weekly, were more likely to have higher quality relationships and lower divorce rates than those who didn’t. They found that weekly date nights increase communication about important things and remove everyday distractions. Date nights increase novelty so that couples don’t take one another for granted and you both have a chance to do fun, stimulating activities. Having a date night helps spouses to reclaim both their individual identity and their identity as a couple.  Much of the time they are too busy being a daughter, son, boss, worker, mom, dad and friend to remember to focus on who they want to be as people and as a couple.

If you’re constantly on the go with your demanding schedule and job you and your partner are well over due for a date night. For most of us who are in the hustle and bustle,  on the daily grind and going 110% if not more always, then date night is the perfect way to force you to relax and unwind.  What better way then to do it with someone you love and feel 100% comfortable with. When you aren’t distracted the stresses of your job and what have you, having that time away can put you in a refreshed and calm state. So whatever was stressing you before won’t be so hard to tackle, because you took time to hit the refresh, reset  and regroup button and you talked about it together. You both came together to make the time for some good old quality time and R&R with one another. Something we all need from time to time. Try it and see how you handle what life is handing to you with a renewed sense of calmness and mindset. We all need this time, so cherish it, be mindful of it, and use it wisely.

Lastly, you remember your Why… This is so very true for all relationships.  You think, why did we begin this crazy ride through the journey of life together! What brought us here? There’s nothing more refreshing or comforting than to have those moments thinking  “We’re in this together.” To remind you and your partner why you both are working so hard to keep this relationship together, continue to be a solid team, why it’s so important to you both and why you want to continue this together. This couldn’t be more true, especially if your going through a tough time or working through something- moments like these will only provide a sense of clarity and put you at ease. Something you can’t and won’t be able to get if you’re going through it alone or just going through the motions. Now I’m not saying that the other moments you and your partner share aren’t significant.  But, what I am saying is that taking the time and making the effort will not only strengthen your relationship, it will help you both grow even closer as a stronger unified couple not only in life but in marriage. After all, as the saying goes– for better or for worse, in sickness and in health and for as long as you both shall live. 

Life will always have some kind of lesson or test that will challenge you and your partner. It is those test that will strengthen you not only as individuals but as a couple in the long run.

 

These are just my own thoughts and what has worked for my husband and I over the years. What I can tell you is that we all fall victim to neglecting time and not making enough of an effort. We all can get bogged down and distracted by the day to day. But I’m just pointing out ways to reinforce that bond and ways to strengthen it as a whole. Trust and believe you are all never alone, everyone goes through it. But it’s up to you and your partner to make the conscious effort to try. Remember, relationships are always about compromise it’s never a one way street, it takes two for anything to happen. I hope this post helped you in some way shape or form.  and I hope you’ve gained some reassurance in your relationships and I hope you all will make efforts to building a strong, loving and lasting relationships with your partner. Try it out and see what happens.

 

I hope you all found this helpful and useful. I’d love to hear from you , please do share your thoughts below or even write to me. I love hearing your thoughts about this topic or any other topic, we can all help each other out. Let me know what other topics you ‘d like me to write about and share with you. I’m always happy to share my experiences and knowledge with you.

As always, thank you for reading, following along and supporting my journey!


All things Wedding

Posted on: May 3, 2017

Getting Married? 

How exciting, Congratulations! This time is always such a precious time, and I know the entire process can be stressful, daunting and not to mention overwhelming at times. But it’s important to take a deep breath and enjoy the entire process, because after all those months or even the year of planning, it goes by in a blink of an eye. After being a bride, I totally can sympathize everything your feeling and going through so I’d be happy to help however I can. Whether it’s advice, styling tips, accessories, I can use my experiences to try and ease your worries and or concerns. Please feel free to comment below or even write to me I’d be happy to help. Please do check out my blog for I’ve written post on advice, ideas and more here : http://www.socialfashionistabeauty.com/category/wedding-wednesdays/.  More post on All things Weddings and more for my Wedding Wednesday series will be coming soon!

I can tell you this, all the stressful moments will ALL be worth it in the end. Why? Your wedding day will be a beautiful day with memories to last a lifetime. I personally, absolutely love weddings! I loved being a bride even though at times it was overwhelming it was still a time I’d never forget. I understand and sympathize that it all can be a lot in the grand scheme of things, but just remember to enjoy the process and this very special time. Because before you know it will be over, at least the planning part and your big day.  Then, this new and exciting chapter begins as: your life as Mr and Mrs! That time as Mr. and Mrs. is another big step in your life that will be another amazing journey to add memories, moments and much more. If you have any questions, concerns or need advice on anything wedding please feel free to comment below or even write to me.

Looking for bridal accessories?

I know and understand that with all the options out there, the styling process can be overwhelming. Rest assure, I can be of assistance and take care of you. I’d be happy to work closely with you to help you style your jewelry and accessories to bring out your best look on your special day.

Take a look at my online jewelry boutique and check out our newest Bridal collection. We offer a variety of jewelry and accessories that will be just perfect for your day! Check out my boutique here: www.chloeandisabel.com/boutique/emilydesouza and our bridal collection here: https://www.chloeandisabel.com/boutique/emilydesouza/shop/collection/22203/bridal-shop-2c0d6085-bdb4-43c1-81b1-79906479a05b

 

Please feel free to write to me at: emilysotera@socialfashionistabeauty.com or comment below!

Happy planning and Congratulations!

As always, thanks for reading, following along and supporting my journey!


Wedding Wednesday Series: Cherishing, Reflecting, and Remembering

Posted on: October 14, 2015

It’s been 2 years and 2 months since we got married, and it’s been amazing so far. As I look back  at my weddng photos and watch our video, I start to remember it has if it was just yesterday.

The other day I met with my bestie and we spoke about marriage and her dating life or lack there of.   She’s so eager to get married, like many of us. But sometimes some get married for all the wrong reasons, hers is a means to get her family off of her back. Feeling the pressures of not being married in her early 30’s, she vented to me how she wants to get married so her family won’t bother anymore about the subject. In my opinion, she isn’t ready, her feelings of urgency to get married are to just appease her family. While she doesn’t really know why else would she get married.

A couple weeks ago I met with another girlfriend of mine, and she told me news of a former college friend who was married and now sadly, divorced. And I have yet another girlfriend who married a man who was everything she ever wanted, or so she thought. But turns out he really isn’t the guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Time and time again I here all these stories and it saddens me. Reason being, because marriage is such a beautiful thing, and although it can be hard at times, no marriage is EVER perfect, but I always think there is a better solution than divorce.

After hearing all these stories it led me to write this blog post. I tell all my girlfriends and friends all I ever wish for them is happiness. When they are happy I’m happy. Marriage is one of the happiest moments one can experience in their life. And I want is  my girlfriends and friends to experience that, but not to rush into it.

I’ve heard so many stories of people rushing into marriage and at times it  doesn’t end well.

My best friend wants the feeling of a healthy loving relationship but feels the pressures from her very traditional family who want her to be married like yesterday…. And she’s become somewhat of a serial dater meeting men left and right who are introduced to her by her family. But all the guys aren’t the right fit, theres always something that isn’t right about them. And I keep on telling her as much as I want her to be married, and to be happy. She needs to be ready too. And quite frankly I don’t think she is. She needs to really date a guy to know if she wants to spend the rest of her life with him or not. She hasn’t really dated much, and  I know dating isn’t EVER easy, but we all gotta start somewhere.

Have you guys ever seen that Cheez-it’s commericial –where they test them to see if there ready for packaging or not. My brother and I laugh at that commerical all the time. And we relate it to things whether we’re ready or not.  “Ready or NOT..???” Not ready. And that’s what I feel for my best friend and for many people wanting to get married whether its not the right time or even the wrong reasons.

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting, on life as a whole. Now that I’m in my 30s I’ve been looking back at my 20s, and just remembering, reminicising, and thinking about those memorable moments in my life. One of those memorable moments is when I got married. Looking back on our wedding album and watching our video, I get teary eyed and remembered how happy I was then, and how much happier I am now. It was such a beautiful day, being surrounded by all our family and friends, witnessing our union. The Best Day ever and a day my husband and I willl never forget.  And thats what I want for everyone to experience the joy and happiness that comes with getting married. But when its the right time, not for your family, not for your friends, but when its the right time for you.

To be honest, I was one of those girls,…… In my early to mid 20s hearing friends, co-workers and some girlfriends get engaged and I to had the wedding itch. I’ve had boyfriends in the past who’ve proposed to me before, but was I ready …. NOPE!  I was young, naive, and DEFINITELY NOWHERE near ready to get married. I  barely, knew who I was in my early 20s and to get married, then, as I think back, I don’t think it would’ve been the best decision for me. I mean don’t get me wrong, some people get married early in age and in their relationships and they work. I’m just going off of my experiences and stories I’ve heard. For me at least  it wouldn’t have been the right time.

But I will say now, being married for 2 years and 2 months, it isn’t much time as a married couple, but I will say I’m happy, I waited. And marriage so far as been Amazing! Some may have thought it wasn’t the right time for me because they thought I was still young, and for the face that I’m the youngest in my family. But other’s aren’t in your shoes, and they won’t know when is the right time, you and you alone will know when its right.

I just feel like some always think there isn’t enough time, and once we’ve hit our 30s, some may say we are old and over the hill—and if were not married yet , that marriage may never come….. And that can be a daunting thought… But, this is definitely not the case. It may scare some of us if we aren’t married by a certain age, but if we aren’t ready or if we rush into it, and the timing isn’t right–who knows what your life may be later down the road. It’s better to be sure than to be unsure especially when it comes to something as big and commiting as marriage. Enjoy your life, surround yourself around positive minded people, never rush into anything, and you alone will know when it’s right. Not just for marriage but in anything.

My advice

BEFORE MARRIAGE:

 NEVER rush into any decision if you aren’t ready.

Get to know your partner for who they are, what they’re all about, know them inside and out.

Know thyself

Make sure you feel secure within the relationship as well as being secure within yourself.

Do you love that person enough to spend the rest of your life with them?

Don’t marry someone for materialic value or for any financial benefit. Money can buy you things but it can’t buy you love or happiness. #TRUTH

Do you feel safe and secure with this person?

If you can and if you want to, try living with one another while dating and see where your relationship goes from there.

Remember healthy communication

Don’t marry someone to make your family happy, marry someone who not only loves you but loves your family as well. Remember your family is an extension and part of you.

You’re the one marry the person, not your family

Enjoy one another always

Laugh with eachother

MARRIED:

This phrase can be taken in two ways but especially in big traditionally familys, you marry your partner but you marry their family too. ( To a certain extend/degree , I agree)

Remember to love one another and never take eachother for granted

Never let work get in the way of your relationship

Remember healthy communication

Remember your values, morals, and your vows towards one another

Never go to bed angry at one another

Before thinking of divorce see if you’ve gone down every avenue to make your marriage work

Seeking marital advice from a counselor, friend, or family member is never bad. It’s nice to have perspective from someone outside the marriage. So they can give you insight on areas that can be improved.

Enjoy one another always

Laugh with eachother

Make decisions together, think them through together

Support one another

Always remember to cherish and love one another

Remember to continue to have date nights

ENJOY SOME PHOTOS FROM OUR WEDDING

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BEFORE OUR RECEPTION

4/5

What are your thoughts on marriage?

What are your thoughts on dating?

What makes you happy?

What are your experiences?

I’d love to hear from you, comment below or write me a line!

XO,

SOCIALFASHIONISTABEAUTY


WEDDING WEDNESDAY SERIES QUOTES & INSPIRATION

Posted on: September 30, 2015

As a blogger, English Major, and PR Woman, at times I look towards a book, author, poem, or even a movie for inspiration. For this weeks Wedding Wednesday series, I’m writing about the various things that can help inspire us to write our : speech, vows, advice etc…  for weddings.

This post for my Wedding Wednesday Series, is to help inspire, motivate, and give assistance to those looking for words to contruct your speech, vows,  or advice for a couple/wedding. Below I’ve typed out my speech I wrote for my Sister in Law’s wedding as well as various quotes to help you. Make it personal, relatable, and speak from the heart.

Marriage is such a beautiful thing, and witnessing the love two people share is one of the most inspiring things anyone can do in their life. So writing about it in my opinion, is quite moving and motivating all on its own.

1. “Where there is love there is life.” – Mahatma Gandhi

2. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

– Dr. Seuss

3. “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou

4. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
– Mignon McLaughlin

5. “I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.”– Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

6. “If I had a flower for every time thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.”– Alfred Tennyson

 7. “What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life–to strength each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?” – George Eliot

8. “Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.”– Plato

9. “Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it be rather a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”– Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

10. “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.”– Martin Luther

My Matron of Honor Speech for my Sister in Law and Brother in Law:

“Hello and Good evening. For those of you who don’t know me my name is Emily, Stacy’s, Sister-in-Law, wife to her brother, Mark. Let me first welcome you all to this joyous occasion celebrating Stacy and Antaeus. Now, I have a few words for the couple and I’d like to share it with you all.

It wasn’t too long ago, Mark and I were celebrating our wedding with family and friends. And I remember Stacy telling me how she was inspired by our wedding, the idea of marriage and its union. And I knew that not too long after she and Antaeus would be embarking on that same journey in due time. And here we are on this beautiful day, celebrating their union of marriage. The day they told us the news of their engagement, I was so overjoyed and excited for them. And when Stacy and Antaenus asked me to be part of their wedding, I felt very honored to share in their specifal day. And I couldn’t be happier for the two of them and this new chapter they are about to begin.

Here’s a quote from French novelist and Romance poet Victor Hugo, something to lead you both in your married life together. ” May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough hope to keep you happy, enough friends to give you comfort, enough determination to make each day a better day than yesterday.”

To conclude if we could raise our glasses and toast to the bride and groom. Congratulaions and

best of luck! I love you both! And let’s continue to enjoy the evening. Thank you!”

What inspires you when writing a speech? What are your thoughts about weddings and speech? Comment below I’d love to here from you!

XO,

SOCIALFASHIONISTABEAUTY