“A woman with a voice, is by definition a strong woman.”
Take delight in the Lord and he shall give you the desires of your Heart. Psalm 37:4
I hope everyone is having a great week so far. This post I’m sharing today is about finding strength, trusting it, reflection and having a good heart. In life, we all go through things that many of us can’t explain or don’t even understand. Sometimes, things happen in our lives, that is so unexpected, heartbreaking and life changing that it effects us in so many different ways. I, myself have been going through a very painful time in my life. Something so painful I wouldn’t wish this kind of pain on anyone. They say that pain changes people. There are two types of pains, one that hurts you and the other that changes you. It can make a person trust less, overthink more and sometimes even shut people out. Pain can also be a motivator for finding strength.
During this time of reflection, heartache, soul searching and guidance through my faith. I’ve seen myself struggle through the pain. I see that pain has changed me in a way where I was at a point where I’ve doubted others and myself. I’ve seen how my pain has hurt me to the core. I’ve even been at a point where I’ve completely shut people out. Not that it was on purpose, not that I didn’t or haven’t valued them, their care or advice. But I couldn’t bare to have my pain and hurt drown in them too. When one experiences pain of this nature, the only natural and human reaction is to feel alone. Leaving you with much doubt –where you begin to question every little thing.
Please know this, TRUST and BELIEVE if you’re going through any kind of pain or hurt you’re not alone. Even though it feels like you are, you aren’t. I tell myself this everyday, because I still struggle with this from time to time. I also know that it’s easier said than done. What I have learned is that we can’t never allow the pain or hurt to let us lose ourselves in the process. Repeat after me, I matter, I am important and I am enough. These are things I say to myself everyday, although it can be a struggle I still manage to say, believe and repeat it. But hey, trying is half the battle. Sure, I have my moments of sadness, and it’s perfectly normal. Let it out, it’s healthy. We all need a good cry here and there. If we don’t let it out, one of these days you may just explode with an overflow of emotions. But little by little, let it out. Let yourself feel through the pain and hurt. This isn’t something you can prepare yourself for, it’s also isn’t something you can just wake up the next day and just say ok I’m over it. It’s a process, an ebb and flow of ups and downs. Everyday is different. Some days will be good and some days will not be and that’s perfectly fine.
Reflection and Coping….
I reflect, I grieve and I have my ways of coping through it all. We all find ways to deal and cope with things. I’ve truly appreciated my small inner circle and family for their support, guidance and love during this time. You find that during these times of struggle, you find out whose truly in your corner and by your side. As far as my time, I try and use my time in a productive way. Whether its keeping myself occupied with work, family, friends or other activities that I enjoy. For instance, I have a passion and love for singing, I have since gotten back into singing, joined a choir and have done a few open mic nights. I found that it has been a way of release and a means to keep my mind off of the pain for the moment in time. I’ve also had the honor and pleasure to guest speak at various business events. Although I’m going through this very painful and tough time in my life, I’d still like to be an advocate and use my voice as a means for positive change and for me its a way to help others and give back, which is my mission and life’s purpose. It truly warms my heart to be able to inspire and empower men and women through this platform. To provide a sense of hope, encouragement and positivity through the lenses of style, beauty, lifestyle as well as real life situations. I hope that my voice, experiences, businesses and words of wisdom provide a sense comfort and strength to all. As well as be a means for positive change not just for ourselves but as a whole.
Let your coping mechanisms be positive and constructive. Don’t let them be ways where it will lead you further down the rabbit whole. If you need to, seek advice from family, your inner circle or even professional help, do so. Releasing the pain and hurt helps, even if it’s only in the moment it’s conducive to the process. If you can write about it, writing can be very cathartic and helpful too. Let it all out, even if you find yourself getting emotional, LET IT OUT. And remember this is your pain, you’re the one going through this. No matter what advice or what anyone says to you, although the intentions may be for your benefit, this is your process. You handle and you go through the motions how you see fit for yourself. Also, remember to love yourself through it all. Be kind, be gentle to yourself. You’re going through a lot, so don’t be too hard on yourself especially if your trying. Love yourself first and foremost. Take care of you.
Above all, trust and believe that you have the strength, it’s within you. That voice inside you, that is your inner strength, listen to it. Let it guide and help you through the pain. Sometimes in life, we can’t explain why things happen the way they do. No matter how painful it may be. I can confidently say that I know I’m a good woman, with a good heart and only the purest intentions. But what I have also learned that having a good heart can also cause a tremendous amount of pain and hurt. One thing that I know for sure, I may be going through a tough time now. BUT, this will never stop me from being the woman that I am. No matter how much love and care you have in your heart and even with your good intentions, sometimes not everyone is equipped to handle it, or even grow with you. That’s the tough part, but hey not everyone has the capacity to love the way you love, realize it or see the good, even if it’s starring them right in the face. Sometimes you may be too much goodness and heart that others don’t have the capacity to hold on to it, cherish it and know how to take care of it. I’m content in knowing not to expect a lot in return. But also knowing what I deserve. Even though I know that what I have already matters and I can see the growth potential in all aspects. Not to say you shouldn’t have any expectation but having less expectations saves you from an immense amount of pain. If that makes any sense at all.
Food for thought….
This is what I do know. Here’s the thing about people with good hearts. They give you excuses when you don’t explain yourself. They accept apologies you don’t give. They see the best in you when you don’t need them to. At your worst, they lift you up, even if it means putting their priorities aside. The word “busy” does not exist in their dictionary or vocabulary. They make time, even when you don’t. And you wonder why they’re the most sensitive people. You wonder why they’re the most caring people. You wonder why their existence is not so essential to your well-being. It’s because they don’t make you work hard for the attention they give you. They accept the love they think they’ve earned and you accepted the love you think you’re entitled to. Let me tell you something. Fear the day when a good heart gives up on you. Our skies don’t become grey out of no where. Our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for awhile. That’s truth and honesty in a nutshell. That’s not bitterness, that true, honest words from someone with a good heart. We don’t just love, we love hard, unconditionally, wholeheartedly and immensely. Find the strength within you to know, no matter what pain can do to you never lose sight of your good heart and pure intentions. Never let pain make you bitter. Turn pain into strength. The road of pain and hurt isn’t easy by no means. Always remember your good heart, you’re a good person and you have the power to be strong, it’s always been inside of you. Never lose sight of your strength and your good heart.
Breathe, and let it go….
Life throws us curve balls, things we can’t explain. They are either there to test us or to strengthen us or even both. I’ve been told that God gives his strongest souls the most challenging feats in life because he knows they can handle it and they will prevail. This hasn’t been easy by no means. But with the grace of God and my faith, I still haven’t lost hope. Turn to your faith and let that be your strength and let that empower you through this time.
Breathe, and let it go. If it’s meant to be it will find it’s way. I firmly believe that. Maybe we’re all experiencing some form of pain for a reason. Sometimes we have to struggle a little to find the deeper meaning behind the message. If you believe in something so much, then keep your faith and find strength through it. When there’s a will there’s a way. If you’re going through any pain or hurt, remember you’re not alone. I’m here for you. It’s never easy, I’m still going through it. We can remind ourselves of our strengths, our faith and our good hearts. Through it all, we can empower ourselves to find hope, light and positivity through our time of struggle.
Remember to never lose faith, never lose hope, never stop believing and never give up! You’re a good soul, a dope soul with a good and pure heart of gold. Never forget that!
As always, thanks for reading, following along and supporting the journey!